Advice from an Ex-Bitter

I Hate Being a Prosecutor, but I’m so Damn Good at It

by Ex-Bitter
9:08 AM, March 9th, 2010

Dear Bitter Lawyer, I graduated from a tier-1 school in 2003. I spent the entire three years of law school fighting with my (now ex-) wife, and my grades suffered for it. I finished in the middle of my class with a 2.75. Though I concentrated heavily on international law classes, I simply did not have the GPA to get one of those BigLaw jobs out of school. Following an internship, I landed a job as a prosecutor—even though I never cared for criminal law. Now, seven years later, I am still prosecuting people and can't stand the job. However, I am surprisingly good at it. I've only lost two jury trials in my career. I have looked for opportunities in other areas of law that I’m more interested in, but despite what I was told in law school, law firms STILL only consider applicants with better class ranks. They could care less about what I've accomplished since. So, after some time, I gave up and began looking for a way out of the profession entirely....

Law Firm 10

The Strangled Cries of Lawyers in Love

by Law Firm 10
11:39 AM, March 4th, 2010

I’ll be blunt: Dating a fellow lawyer—especially one from the same firm—is an epically bad idea. I understand the time-honored “don’t shit where you eat” principle. But that’s not the precise problem I’m having. Let’s rewind to only a few short weeks ago. On a cold, snowy night in January, I silenced my anxious pessimism, swallowed my doubtful resolve and allowed myself to fall for Carson, the firm’s new-ish corporate lateral from a few floors down. The honeymoon phase was stunning. I adored every second of it. How could I not?...

Ten Ways for Women NOT to Get Sex in Law School

by Bitter Vault
12:12 PM, March 2nd, 2010

As you girls know, law school is a vile institution in which hot males come in the same frequency as in a nursing home. But that’s no reason not to always be prepared. A female law student’s uber-busy lifestyle can easily cause her to overlook her own twitchy tendencies and turn a blind eye to parts of her busted self that are major turn-offs. But if she has needs—and we know she has needs—she’ll need to mind the way she projects herself if she hopes to ever meet a man in the barren law school landscape. To help shine a light, here are some of the self-imposed sex-blocking characteristics female law students will assuredly need to overcome to find a man:...